Engels to Marx in London
Manchester, Monday, 26 January 1863

Manchester, 26 Jan. 1863.
Dear Mohr,

I thank you for your frankness. You yourself realise what an impression your last but one letter made on me. One cannot live together with a woman for so many long years without feeling her death terribly. I felt that with her I buried the last piece of my youth. When I received your letter she was not yet buried. I tell you, the letter lay on my mind for a whole week, I could not forget it. Never mind, your last letter makes up for it, & I am glad that I have not lost my oldest & best friend simultaneously with Mary.

Now to your affairs. I went straight away today to Watts, whom I thought was still in London, and who incidentally has an office in London, 2 Pall Mall. Nothing can be done with him. His company no longer lends money. He gave me another address. The man is willing, but he requires, depending on circumstances, two or even more sureties for interest, premium, and repayment of the loan. Unfortunately, we cannot comply with that; whom could we find? At most Gumpert, but he would hardly be accepted. In addition, since both of us are without civic status, a third would certainly be required, and finally the expences of the loan would be deducted in advance so that little would remain.

I then thought of selling part of the yarn bought on speculation & instead of repaying the amount to Ermen (to whom the money belongs), to send it to you. This might have been possible, since the matter would only come to light in July, by which time much can change. But no chance. The market is so slack today that I would have to sell at a loss, not at a profit, & probably would not manage to sell at all this week.

I cannot raise any money myself; E. could & would probably refuse me it, & I cannot expose myself to that. To borrow here from a third party, a usurer, would mean giving E. the best pretext to repudiate his contract with me. And despite all that, I cannot bear to see you carry out your plan as you wrote to me. I therefore went to old Hill about bills of exchange, and have taken, enclosed, a bill for £700 on John Rapp & Co, due 28 Feb., and endorsed it to you. I think it will not come to light before July, & then we have a stay of execution again. It is a most risky stroke on my part, for I shall now certainly slip into deficit, but it must be risked. I assure you, I would not have ventured it if Charles, who has drawn up a rough sort of balance for the last 6 months, had not told me this afternoon that matters are looking better for me to the extent of about £30 to 50 than I could expect. In the 6 months I have earned approximately £330 to 350.

But now you yourself must realise that, after the extraordinary exertions I have had to make since 30 June 1862, I am now completely pumped out and you can therefore count on no further remittances from me until 30 June, apart from perhaps some trifling sums. What things will look like after 30 June, the devil only knows, for nothing is being earned now, since the market is no longer rising.

The bill itself is as good as cash. Freiligrath will discount it for you with delight; better paper is very rare in circulation. But be so good as to acknowledge receipt; so much is being stolen from the post nowadays, & since you are not in commerce anyone can pass himself off as Dr K.M.

Yours,
F. E.