MARX TO PAUL LAFARGUE*”! 

London, 13 August 1866 

My dear Lafargue, 

Allow me to make the following observations: 

1. If you wish to continue your relations with my daughter,* you 
will have to give up your present manner of ‘courting’. You know 
full well that no engagement has been entered into, that as yet 
everything is undecided. And even if she were formally betrothed 
to you, you should not forget that this is a matter of long 
duration. The practice of excessive intimacy is especially inapprop- 
riate since the two lovers will be living at the same place for a 
necessarily prolonged period of severe testing and purgatory. I 

4 Laura Marx 

have observed with alarm how your conduct has altered from one 
day to the next within the geological period of one single week. 
To my mind, true love expresses itself in reticence, modesty and 
even the shyness of the lover towards the object of his veneration, 
and certainly not in giving free rein to one’s passion and in 
premature demonstrations of familiarity. If you should urge your 
Creole temperament in your defence, it is my duty to interpose 
my sound reason between your temperament and my daughter. If 
in her presence you are incapable of loving in a manner in 
keeping with the London latitude, you will have to resign yourself 
to loving her from a distance. I am sure you will take the hint. 
2. Before your relationship with Laura is finally settled, I must 
have proper clarification of your financial position. My daughter 
believes that I am conversant with your affairs. She is mistaken. I 
did not raise this question because I believed it was incumbent 
upon you to take the initiative. You know that I have sacrificed my 
whole fortune to the revolutionary struggle. I do not regret it. 
Quite the contrary. If I had to begin my life over again, I would 
do the same. I would not marry, however. As far as it lies within 
my power, I wish to save my daughter from the reefs on which 
her mother’s life was wrecked. Had it not been for my direct 
intervention (a weakness on my part) and the influence that my 
friendship for you exerted on my daughter’s conduct, this affair 
would never have progressed to its present point; for this reason I 
bear a heavy personal responsibility. As far as your immediate 
situation is concerned, the information which has come my way, 
although I did not seek it, is by no means reassuring. But let’s not 
deal with that now. Regarding your position in general, I know 
that you are still a student, that your career in France has been 
half ruined by the events at Liége,” that you still lack an 
indispensable tool for your acclimatisation in England, the 
language, and that your prospects are at best entirely problematic. 
Observation has persuaded me that you are not very industrious 
by nature, despite spasmodic feverish activity and good intentions. 
In these circumstances, you will need external support if you are 
to set out in life with my daughter. I know nothing of your family. 
Although they may enjoy a comfortable living, that does not in 
itself mean that they would be disposed to make sacrifices for you. 
I do not even know with what favour they regard your proposed 
alliance. I repeat that I must have positive clarification on all these 
matters. Moreover, as an avowed realist, you cannot, of course, 
expect that I should behave as an idealist in respect of my 
daughter’s future. Such a positive person as yourself, who would 

abolish poetry, will not wish to make poetry to the detriment of 
my child. 

3. To preclude any misinterpretation of this letter, I would like 
to state that—were you in a position to enter into matrimony 
today—it would not come about. My daughter would refuse. I 
myself should object. You must have achieved something in life 
before thinking of marriage, and a long period of testing is 
required of you and of Laura. 

4. I would like this letter to remain confidential between 
ourselves. I await your reply. 

Yours very truly 
Karl Marx