Sir,

It turned out poorly.

General impression of the "first reading":
1st page: "many" see an "obvious" deviation...
(Why admit that there are "many" critics? This immediately sets a wrong tone and "approach"... in favor of the enemies).
2nd page.
"general reorganization of the people's commissariats, which is inevitably connected"...
("inevitably"? Very avoidable, as no general reorganization is taking place. Thus, the author refers the reader to something "general" that does not exist).
3rd page.
highlighting the main points, concentration in large enterprises, etc. ...

"however, it is worth thinking to see that it is impossible piece by piece" ... "piecemeal".
(Unconvincing. It is only possible piece by piece.
One must start with a little, with one case.)
p. 4 ... Extremes are not permissible
(obviously, but academic)
Osadchii in NKT (already mentioned twice)

"members of Gosplan have to continuously (one Osadchii?) engage in rough work"...
35 - 1 = 34
p. 5...

Fuel... Larin (why quote him without providing a single figure? Encouraging the enemy! Either be silent about him, speaking of your work not in Larin's words, but in your own and with facts, or
attack him. Any other tactic = certain defeat).
p. 6 "a group of workers for combating famine was hastily formed"
(? This is not at all the business of Gosplan!)
p. 7
p. 8 instructions from the Chairman of STO
(? What? The reader does not know)
VSP + OTK
NKPS... "probably will not be slow to show" (the underlined words also favor the enemies). Neopikhanov...
(what did he do? Not a single clear word.
At least one example. How did he help?
Save money? Uncover an error? Help avoid it? In what exactly?)
8-9: ... "Tasks"...

Tasks have become so tiresome that it is better to be silent about them. There are countless tasks for everyone.

General, universal, all-encompassing tasks that clearly will not be fulfilled.

It turned out poorly or not at all. Better to be silent in print for now. For the report to STO
(.) present clearly something that has been achieved in fact, even if 3-4 small examples, but precise, factual, achieved, not tasks, specifically implemented, not general and hypothetical.

What did Ramzin do in Petrograd?
» » Neopikhanov in Moscow?

Strumilin
Popov and others.
(.) Has the work been distributed among individual members? When?

How many of the 35?

To G. M. KRZHIZHANOVSKY. July 2, 1921.

(.) Of the 10 commissariat commissions, relations are correct with one (? fuel).

How is this expressed?

What has been achieved in reality in the plan for the second half of 1921?

Fuel savings?

Conclusion: to further merge with the 10, overcome the inertia of the 9 who do nothing?
(.) Preparation of the plan for the second half of 1921?

NKP (harvest?) CSU?

Current section
VSNKH

This is roughly how the material for the report to STO should be structured, in my opinion.

The general and consolidated plan will apparently not be ready before autumn 1921, and it cannot be given until the approximate harvest is clarified.

Let it be so. (But the harvest is one thing, and the amount of tax realized and grain received is another. You will find out this quantity in 1922, post factum.)
Therefore, we must proceed from conditional minimums.

Partial plans have been made (fuel?); half done (NKPS?). Here, it seems, something factual can be provided.

A quarter done? number of eaters? (this is the business of CSU, not Gosplan. Everyone will dump their work on Gosplan. It should not allow this).

But the main thing remains: immediately, at once, "piece by piece" eliminate the clearly irrational, clearly contradictory to the state economy plan.
(close such-and-such establishments in such-and-such a sector...
close, partially close such-and-such railways...
build such-and-such fuel branches...
that forest massif, which, according to Ramzin, will yield more than any Algemb, name and provide a plan: cut it like this, transport it like this...

Of 1000 good factories, launch 10 by such-and-such a date, 50 by such-and-such, etc., up to 100 or 200).

Your Lenin